First and Last words.
I’m not crying, there’s something in both my eyes.
THE FIRST AND LAST WORDS ARE SAID BY ALBUS
I TAKE BACK ANY CRITICISM OF HIS NAME
I open at the close
Lately, I’ve felt like I’m just drowning in my own world of self hatred and depression. I just feel sad and tired all the time. I don’t ever really want to do anything, I’m crabby all the time, I find things that used to cheer me up, not helpful at all anymore, and I feel lonely all the time. I could be in a room full of people, and I’d still feel lonely. I feel like every time I think something is going good, it ends up being bad. And no matter what I do, I can never get a break. If it’s not one thing, then it’s most definitely something else. I am stressed out, about being stressed out. Everyday I wake up and wish I could pack my bags and start all over, new place, new name, new life. I don’t really think anyone would miss me too much. I mostly feel empty, and I don’t think anyone can do anything to help me. Or maybe it’s that no one knows all of this, so they cant help me. I just bottle up everything and go on about my life, like living, waking up everyday is a treat, when most days I have to fight myself to even get out of bed. I’m just exhausted. I feel like I can’t trust anyone. Everyone is just a bunch of bullshit. Everyone is all about themselves. I give, and I give, but when I need help, I’m screaming at the top of my lungs and no one is there to save me. I just tell myself, if it was their life or mine, they’d save their own life. People who are your “friends” will stab you in the back, watch you bleed out, and then at your funeral cry about how much they miss you. Man, life is a train wreck.
♫ It’s like you’re my mirror. My mirror staring back at me ♫